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Book Review

KEEPING UP WITH THE KUHARSKI CLAN

By Diane Levero

I have been fascinated by Mary Ann Kuharski and her family of 13 kids ever since, as the rookie editor of Defend Life, I covered her Defend Life talk at Loyola College in 1998.

Raising just four children had been a challenge to me.  So how does one raise 13 – six of them adopted and of other races, with special physical and emotional needs – to be good Catholics?

Mary Ann outlined the basics in her 1998 talk.  Underlying these basics was one central theme:  our number one goal as parents should be to get our children to heaven.

But the devil is in the details, as they say.  Basic principles are all well and good, but how do parents apply these principles in actual, day-to-day situations?

Prior to her 1998 talk, Mary Ann had already written three books replete with answers:  Raising Catholic Children, Parenting with Prayer, and Building a Legacy of Love.

This year she came out with a fourth:  Outnumbered:  Raising 13 Kids with Humor and Prayer.

The uninitiated might ask, aren’t three books by one author on the same subject enough?  To which I reply with a resounding no!

When you love a writer and admire her style, subject and genius, you can never get enough!

As a purely secular example, let me cite my favorite author, Jane Austen.  All of her books center on one basic theme:  how does a refined young lady in Regency England go about getting herself a husband?

I am sorry to say that Miss Austen was only able to complete six books on this one subject before her untimely demise; I could have gone on reading her forever.

But I digress.

I had already read two of Mary Ann’s previous three books, so I expected to encounter some repetition in her fourth.  

But while the basic theme (get your kids to heaven) and the main characters (13 kids plus her husband John) remain the same, she still has new insights and fresh valuable advice, funny stories and pungent observations to offer.

Her chapters are short and easy to digest.  They jump lightly from topic to topic, similar, I would imagine, to a relaxed conversation with Mary Ann while enjoying a cup of coffee at her kitchen table.

Kuharski covers some not unexpected subjects – taking toddlers to church, today’s anti-child culture, what life is like in a big family, the joys of a summer vacation with 13 kids, Christmas memories.

She also tackles some off-beat topics.  One chapter is devoted to husband John’s “frugality” – she and the kids affectionately call him the “Coupon King.”

Another, called “Boys and Their Toys,” could be subtitled, “Let Them Rebuild Old Cars – It’ll Keep ‘Em Out of Trouble.”

Mary Ann also expounds on the Kuharski family rule that every child must make a weekend retreat before graduating from high school.

And she has some unorthodox thoughts on the dubious value of attending your kids’ athletic events.

Much sand has gone through the hour-glass since Kuharski first started writing about her kids.

Inquiring minds want to know:  where are they all now?  What are they doing?  And most importantly, how have they all “turned out” (i.e., did the Kuharskis’ child-raising philosophy result in “good kids”?)

Mary Ann answers these questions in six chapters near the end of the book.

Her children are pretty much grown-up now. Five are married and there are 12 grandchildren.

Many completed college, most are involved in successful careers and are actively practicing their Catholic faith.

Sadly, three of the adopted children have had serious problems.  Kuharski recounts their stories succinctly, with “the hope that it will give support to others who have similar experiences.”

But throughout Outnumbered, Mary Ann dwells on the positive, showing how love, a strong faith, trust in God, common sense, and a sense of humor are the essential ingredients for a good Catholic family.